My truth about a riot: a personal narrative

I was a bike messenger in Seattle during protests of the World Trade Organization (WTO), which took place in November of 1999. The event is now remembered as the WTO Riots and is sometimes referred to as the Battle in Seattle. I was in my early twenties at the time and it was a transformative experience. Some of you have heard me assert that I am not interested to participate in protests because of it. While that is how I feel even today, I have a lot of complicated feelings about it that are difficult to express. But through conversations with friends and additional reflection, I believe I gained a little clarity about that moment in my youth over 20 years later. Were there bad actors defacing property in downtown Seattle? Yes. Was it justified? No. But you know what else is not justified? A law enforcement officer firing a tear gas canister in another person’s face. So, let me tell you about my experience during these protests.

I saw broken windows, sure, but I never saw who broke them. What I did witness, and was party to, were protesters chanting “Hell no, WTO” while holding a line to block traffic. Some individuals were leading protesters with megaphones, while the rest of us supported the cause. I also saw people with cameras, documenting the protest. I saw the bassist from Nirvana. He was filming with a super 8 camera. My boyfriend wanted me to take a picture with him. The bassist obliged but never stopped filming. I did not witness any violence from protesters myself. The aim was to be seen and heard. And then would come the tear gas.

I will tell you that it is disorienting as well as uncomfortable to be tear gassed in a crowd. You can’t see because your eyes fill with tears and you feel like you can’t breathe because your lungs and sinuses fill with mucus. You open your mouth to take in oxygen, only to take in more tear gas. And whenever you open your eyes it is as if the fresh air exacerbates the reaction of the compound on your mucus membranes, which is painful and you close your eyes again. So, when a phalanx of police with large plastic shields wearing gas masks reach you, you are easy to push around. You yourself are blinded, however, and do not know where you are being pushed to. And that time I got pepper sprayed was even worse.

On subsequent days, after martial law was instituted, tanks, riot police, and national guardsman roamed the streets throughout the night to “keep the peace” and enforce curfew. All of this is likely the mayhem that people have heard about because it was the chaotic scene that was reported most thoroughly in the news: protesters broke shit and order had to be forcibly restored. Again, a half-truth at best. But, what I remember about the protests was a bale of sea turtles.

In a stroke of adorable brilliance, one group participating in the protests organized their members to arrive wearing sea turtle costumes compete with giant turtle shells made of cardboard. Shells I would later see strewn about the city streets all over downtown. I met people from all over the US and around the globe who were passionate about the environment and fair labor practices. They came to Seattle to have their voices heard and show the international committee that they were displeased. But unfortunately, what people seem to remember are “riots” and a “battle.”

My point in sharing this is to urge people to beware the narrative they may be consuming, as it is not likely the whole story. Today we may be watching a different struggle, absolutely, but I am seeing common themes. And I am especially fearful of the narrative with the protests today because I worry it reinforces this toxic idea that some are inherently violent or prone to conflict. It makes me sick. And I also worry that perspectives on why certain violence is justified are just adding fuel to that idea. The sad result with both examples is that the power of self-expression and civil disobedience risks being lost. So, I just ask that people be skeptical about the images on the news. Or simply pay attention to what is happening outside your door. Does it look like a war zone? It is highly likely that the answer for most is “no.” Focus on those around you and take care of who you can.

The city of Seattle felt different after those protests, almost like a lost innocence. The city I loved - whose residents, strangers, would smile at each other in passing on those rare sunny days - was gone. It became gritty and distrustful.

But then I also think about the contribution this protest made. The WTO still exists, but they realized there was a significant problem in how they operated. So, the organization changed their methods and made it easier for global citizens to air grievances. And the city of Seattle settled multiple lawsuits for those who were arrested without probable cause and unjustifiably assaulted by police.

In the end, the impact the protest had on me was profound. I refused to trust the police for an entire year after. And I still can’t articulate why I prefer not to participate in protests, because I believe in their power. But if you are like me and don't like protests or feel unsafe in large crowds, there are still so many ways to get involved. I have much less guilt about my willingness to take to the streets, because I have learned to contribute to change in different ways. And I am grateful to that. I am also grateful for the diverse ways individuals contribute, as best they can, to a better tomorrow.